Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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