I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
