even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
