Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
