Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
nutella sex= disaster
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
