Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He passed out mid-signature
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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