She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
