Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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