I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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