return my video game
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
