Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
