oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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