when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
