So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
