i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
