I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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