I think I died a long time ago.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
