one two three fourrrrnication!
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
