hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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