imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
