did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
