i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
then he tried to convert me to islam
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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