No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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