so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
