things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
