More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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