Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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