you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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