the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
