Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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