Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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