She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
