Texts From Last Night

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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain

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  (302): I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain http://tfl.nu/18xp
  Replies (22) Good night (1258) Bad night (4228)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!

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  (724): Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face! http://tfl.nu/2men
  Replies (24) Good night (1340) Bad night (4764)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  what's for breakfast?

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Advil and throwup

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  (404): what's for breakfast? (678): Advil and throwup http://tfl.nu/nzn0
  Replies (19) Good night (1462) Bad night (5580)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.

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  (917): My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays. http://tfl.nu/9drw
  Replies (77) Good night (1100) Bad night (4309)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.

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  (330): just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months. http://tfl.nu/uiec
  Replies (28) Good night (934) Bad night (5271)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"

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  (267): I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant" http://tfl.nu/lcyo
  Replies (27) Good night (1072) Bad night (5075)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.

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  (352): there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up. http://tfl.nu/1vah
  Replies (13) Good night (3804) Bad night (1041)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.

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  (910): Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days. http://tfl.nu/nw4c
  Replies (10) Good night (699) Bad night (4351)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.

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  (301): The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend. http://tfl.nu/xomb
  Replies (31) Good night (1115) Bad night (5075)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears

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  (717): It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears http://tfl.nu/xih7
  Replies (19) Good night (5017) Bad night (707)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."

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  (401): Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it." http://tfl.nu/3dma
  Replies (5) Good night (1848) Bad night (970)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.

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  (604): I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag. http://tfl.nu/nwen
  Replies (28) Good night (3076) Bad night (645)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  "I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken

  (269): View more from Michigan

  "Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy

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  (269): "I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken (269): "Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy http://tfl.nu/49f2
  Replies (7) Good night (1535) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.

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  (706): All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated. http://tfl.nu/hsx6
  Replies (2) Good night (892) Bad night (251)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  I was just power-washing my vagina.

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  (541): Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay? (1-541): I was just power-washing my vagina. http://tfl.nu/mkkk
  Replies (8) Good night (1281) Bad night (257)

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