Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(250): View more from British Columbia

found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.

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(250): found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life. http://tfl.nu/4h73

Replies (22) Good night (609) Bad night (3015)
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(773): View more from Illinois

you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"

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(773): you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE" http://tfl.nu/hmmg

Replies (17) Good night (6321) Bad night (979)
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(208): View more from Idaho

he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"

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(208): he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something" http://tfl.nu/rcyf

Replies (26) Good night (7432) Bad night (1221)
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(858): View more from California

Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"

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(858): Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS" http://tfl.nu/1s89

Replies (35) Good night (3899) Bad night (1174)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.

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(306): It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story. http://tfl.nu/6m1s

Replies (14) Good night (1064) Bad night (2832)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...

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(615): But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume... http://tfl.nu/x6iy

Replies (5) Good night (4465) Bad night (782)
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(801): View more from Utah

I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...

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(801): I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand... http://tfl.nu/rby4

Replies (7) Good night (3262) Bad night (863)
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(817): View more from Texas

I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"

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(817): I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months" http://tfl.nu/023g

Replies (5) Good night (2191) Bad night (860)
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(281): View more from Texas

Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either

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(281): Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either http://tfl.nu/fgrs

Replies (6) Good night (1504) Bad night (722)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours

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(215): took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours http://tfl.nu/otx8

Replies (8) Good night (3202) Bad night (579)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome

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(215): Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome http://tfl.nu/3oqn

Replies (14) Good night (1300) Bad night (1317)
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(207): View more from Maine

Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.

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(207): Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far. http://tfl.nu/heu3

Replies (16) Good night (1768) Bad night (840)
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(419): View more from Ohio

Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.

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(419): Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life. http://tfl.nu/1dog

Replies (4) Good night (1291) Bad night (454)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok

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(609): I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok http://tfl.nu/nqil

Replies (4) Good night (255) Bad night (502)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.

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(570): Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends. http://tfl.nu/utpt

Replies (5) Good night (279) Bad night (754)

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