people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better