I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
