i wish starbucks made bloody marys
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
