Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
