How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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