My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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