i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
even my farts smell like vagina
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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