her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
