R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
