i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
