they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
