The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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