mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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