i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
