I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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