Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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