I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
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so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
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We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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