my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
