i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
