did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
