I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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