Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
