I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just pee around me
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
