you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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